Hi there
This month I am reminded, again but for a different reason, why I write this missive to give you five minutes of reflecting time while you read it on the last Friday of each month. Yep we’re there again. Already.
I feel tired, busy (that word I declared I wouldn’t use to describe myself only, er, one month ago) and a tad overwhelmed by the commitments I have made for myself. How on earth will I ever do it all?
It raises a fundamental mistake I have made and reminds me of why I used to find such comfort in making resolutions, something else, er, just one month ago I decreed was no longer what I was about.
And my malaise demonstrates the importance of palm trees and margaritas.
This year I have not booked any holidays nor was I planning to as we have had a big few years of travel and I was embracing the rest and the financial relief. Big mistake. I have nothing to look forward to so only see the work and the minutiae ahead.
I’m off to the travel agent, or at least will google ‘exotic and as yet undreamed of locations to fantasise about then travel to so I fill my life with palm trees and margaritas not just days following each other’.
Palm trees and margaritas can be about time out and cocktails, gardening, travel, finding time to embroider or learn to make Thai salads or whatever gives you the sensation of deciding for yourself how you will live your life. If that means doing small every day things with people who are special to you, life is being cherished as it should be.
How was your February? Did you make time for ‘palm trees and margaritas’* however you define them?
I love to hear (and publish) your stories of how you are living your life. Please get in touch and share your tips, stories and reflections. Each month, the reader who sends us the best contribution wins a copy of Palm Trees and Margaritas - Finding Your Oasis in a Busy World.
Karen Morath
karen@mpowercct.com
www.palmtreesandmargaritas.com
February 2009
* Life can’t be all palm trees and margaritas, but there are worse game plans.
The book Palm Trees and Margaritas - Finding Your Oasis in a Busy World is out now, go to www.palmtreesandmargaritas.com to buy your copy.
TIPS
What do you love most about holidays? The Sunday Mail, body+soul, (January 11, 2009) compiled this great list of tips to help add a little holiday joy to your life...
Holiday joy: A slower pace
Everyday ploy: Get up 20 minutes earlier each day and enjoy a meditation, breakfast or walk. 'Instead of waking up to the alarm clock and operating on adrenaline all day, have a slow start," psychologist Suellen Donnelly says. At night, try switching the TV off.
Holiday joy: Delicious food
Everyday ploy: Invest in new cookbooks, try new restaurants and start a dinner party club. Buy foods rich in tryptophan, a protein used to make serotonin, the mood-regulating hormone.
Holiday joy: Leisurely travel
Everyday ploy: Studies show our stress levels are often as high as fighter pilots when we commute, so treat yours as a road trip: allow yourself time and take music or a book.
Holiday joy: Clean rooms
Everyday ploy: Have regular spring cleans, invest in quality bedding and declutter.
Holiday joy: Sleep (and lots of it)
Everyday ploy: Deepen your sleep by listening to relaxing music and sipping milk, honey and cinnamon beforehand. A Harvard study found it only takes a few weeks of healthy sleep to feel re-energised.
Holiday joy: Sightseeing
Everyday ploy: You don't need to leave home to be stimulated: decorate your space with holiday mementos and visit museums, parks and new cafes on weekends.
STORIES
Palm trees and margaritas is not necessarily to be taken literally (although if that’s what you like, cheers!) It’s about seizing the day and remembering you only live once and you don’t know how much life, let alone good health you have left. Continuing our year-long series inspired in part by Bill Clinton’s book ‘Giving’, here is this issue’s story about people giving to others.
1. THE NETWORK OF CARERS
The people doing great things with their lives aren't all notable or high profile. I was lucky to observe some incredible behaviour these past few weeks amongst people I know personally.
My best friend from primary school and her husband and two sons lived in Kinglake and lost their house, their business, a car, and one of their son's schools on what we are now calling Black Saturday. They weren't at home when it happened - the ultimate fire plan given the ferocity of the conditions - and so are all well and unharmed.
I ask you to think about what you have done this past week when I tell you that exactly one week later they moved into a new rented house, fully furnished with two TVs and all mod cons except a dryer, shoe rack and canisters, sent one of their sons back to school, relocated their business, rehoused the worms who had survived the fire but lost their 'farm' and had already looked at display homes as they contemplated re-establishing themselves back where they had lived for 20 years.
Clearly, they are a capable and resilient family who were also lucky enough to be surrounded by people who wanted to help them and did.
My friend talks about the number of people they didn't even know, say a neighbour of her in-laws for example, who gave them cash and clothes, friends and family who gave and lent them household goods, who drove furniture trucks and moved furniture and who replaced their sons' gameboys.
And then there were their friends who had the resources and the will to help who thought creatively about how they could improve the family's lot... and gave them a car.
There seems to be no doubt that people find their inner caring in a tragedy and behave in inspiring ways. Our challenge is to take it with us beyond the tragedies and special occasions and ask ourselves - frequently - how we can improve the life of someone else today.
2. 3900 SATURDAYS
I love this cute story from www.simpletruths.com
The older I get, the more I enjoy Saturday morning. Perhaps it’s the quiet solitude that comes with being the first to rise, or maybe it’s the unbounded joy of not having to be at work. Either way, the first few hours of a Saturday morning are most enjoyable.
A few weeks ago, I was shuffling toward the garage with a steaming cup of coffee in one hand and the morning paper in the other. What began as a typical Saturday morning turned into one of those lessons that life seems to hand you from time to time. Let me tell you about it:
I turned the dial up into the phone portion of the band on my ham radio in order to listen to a Saturday morning swap net. Along the way, I came across an older sounding chap, with a tremendous signal and a golden voice. You know the kind; he sounded like he should be in the broadcasting business. He was telling whomever he was talking with something about “a thousand marbles.” I was intrigued and stopped to listen to what he had to say.
“Well, Tom, it sure sounds like you’re busy with your job. I’m sure they pay you well but it’s a shame you have to be away from home and your family so much. Hard to believe a young fellow should have to work sixty or seventy hours a week to make ends meet. It’s too bad you missed your daughter’s dance recital,” he continued; “Let me tell you something that has helped me keep my own priorities.” And that’s when he began to explain his theory of a “thousand marbles.”
“You see, I sat down one day and did a little arithmetic. The average person lives about seventy-five years. I know, some live more and some live less, but on average, folks live about seventy-five years.
“Now then, I multiplied 75 times 52 and I came up with 3,900, which is the number of Saturdays that the average person has in their entire lifetime. Now, stick with me, Tom, I’m getting to the important part. It took me until I was fifty-five years old to think about all this in any detail,” he went on, “and by that time I had lived through over twenty-eight hundred Saturdays. I got to thinking that if I lived to be seventy-five, I only had about a thousand of them left to Enjoy. So I went to a toy store and bought every single marble they had. I ended up having to visit three toy stores to round up 1,000 marbles. I took them home and put them inside a large, clear plastic container right here in the shack next to my gear.”
Every Saturday since then, I have taken one marble out and thrown it away. I found that by watching the marbles diminish, I focused more on the really important things in life.
There’s nothing like watching your time here on this earth run out to help get your priorities straight.
Now let me tell you one last thing before I sign off with you and take my lovely wife out for breakfast. This morning, I took the very last marble out of the container. I figure that if I make it until next Saturday then I have been given a little extra time. And the one thing we can all use is a little more time.
It was nice to meet you Tom. I hope you spend more time with your family, and I hope to meet you again here on the band. This is a 75 year old man, K9NZQ, clear and going QRT, good morning!”
You could have heard a pin drop on the band when this fellow signed off. I guess he gave us all a lot to think about. I had planned to work on the antenna that morning, and then I was going to meet up with a few hams to work on the next club newsletter.
Instead, I went upstairs and woke my wife up with a kiss. “C’mon honey, I’m taking you and the kids to breakfast.”
“What brought this on?” she asked with a smile.
“Oh, nothing special, it’s just been a long time since we spent a Saturday together with the kids. And hey, can we stop at a toy store while we’re out? I need to buy some marbles.”
READER STORY
NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS
Reader Andrew, who wins a copy of Palm Trees and Margaritas - Finding Your Oasis in a Busy World (the book) for sending in my favourite contribution this month, had this to say about my resolution not to make any new year’s resolutions:
“I have more new year resolutions than ever before – surely that means not all is perfect in my world. The key ones I thought you would like to hear are –
- Rather than spend a little bit of time with the kids in the morning and again at night (where distractions like getting ready for work or preparing dinner intervene) – I will get to work before they get up and get home early so we can spend a few hours of quality time together
- Stop eating lunch at my desk – have a real break for lunch
- Do all my exercise outdoors
- Keep riding to work
- Meditate every day.”
If you are looking for a speaker for an event next year, click here to talk to me about a ‘Palm trees and margaritas’ presentation. I have formats that are ideal for business women’s networks and motivation or work/life balance aspects of conferences or training days. Or let’s discuss tailoring something especially for your needs.
REFLECTIONS
What have you learned from the bushfire tragedies about yourself and what you value? What have you done about it?